Every Boy Wants to Be Accepted
A boy needs to develop a sense of self-worth, and he knows it. He has to accept himself as God made him (see Matthew 7:12 and Luke 10:27).
Basically, a boy wants to live up to his ideal of success. Of course, his ideal depends largely upon his life situation. His father, his friends, what he observes on television, the men who take an interest in him, the ideals of his parents, teachers and leaders — all of these influence the development of a boy’s ideals.
Every teenager undergoes a struggle. He wants to feel that he is making it. He gains self-confidence as he senses that he is living up to the standards in which he believes. But without guidance, he tends to adjust these standards to fit his own behavior. This is where a Christian father or another Christian man can help.
The desire to be accepted by boys his own age (and girls in his teen years) is a potent force in molding a boy’s character and decisions. Everyone likes to be popular and that means achieving acceptance with his friends. For example, one of the major causes for using alcohol and drugs among youth is peer pressure.
A Christian father or another male believer can contribute a great deal to a boy looking to succeed. Simply showing respect for him as an individual, as a person with valid feelings and opinions, will raise a boy’s self-esteem. When a close relationship between a man and boy develops, the adult can help the boy overcome difficult obstacles, from learning how to ride a bike to gaining confidence in personal expression to dating. This enhances the boy’s sense of success.
A man’s example is important, too. If he projects a confident self-acceptance, he can encourage a boy to do likewise. The Christian man can do this because he lives his life as a forgiven man, operating in the center of God’s love under the direction of the Holy Spirit. If he lives in freedom in response to God’s will, he will demonstrate to boys that obeying God is more important than being accepted by any group.
Every Boy Wants Action
Boy love and need action. Physical action comes first. They want chances to prove they’re stronger than other guys. Out of this emerges their love for competitive action, with one another individually and with a group.
Boys also want action that is going somewhere. They even like to work, provided the work produces results that they can see and appreciate!
A boy’s urge to do lies behind much of their wiggling as small boys when they’re supposed to sit still, such as during church services. It also accounts for many pranks and even dangerous stunts that older boys get involved in. Anything that promises action and excitement is bound to have boys right in the center of it.
Christian men need to help boys channel these legitimate urges into constructive activities. It’s incredible how much a small group of boys, under the leadership of understanding men, can accomplish if they are properly challenged.
Yet men often tend to talk at boys rather than giving them active experiences. Much of a boy’s thinking is geared to his present experience. Even his fondest dreams are often interpreted in terms of right now. As a Brigade leader, you can capitalize on this by providing boys with experiences that present meaningful results, sharing with them in their world of action.
Every Boy Wants to Know
The normal curiosity so characteristic of boyhood is the boy’s desire to learn more of what goes on around and within him. Boys of every age are continually experimenting, investigating, asking questions, and trying to discover how things work. When his curiosity is aroused, he will study diligently and immerse himself in the subject. He derives real enjoyment and value from guided investigations. Often, boys want to try it themselves to find things out. It’s difficult for them to accept the experiences and advice of others simply. They want to see for themselves — and they don’t want to miss out on the adventure or the fun!
So much of the information, a boy discovers in today’s secularized society is isolated from God’s truths. The Christian man must involve himself in a boy’s search to learn what the world is all about. As a father shares a trip to the zoo with his son or a man helps a young man tune up his car, he becomes a fellow discoverer of the world — and thus prepares the way to discuss spiritual truths. And if a man desires to share God’s Word with a boy, he must show himself to be a fellow learner. A wise man is never too old to learn something new, even from a young boy.