Ten Ways To Bore Teenagers To Death

10 ways to bore teensDo you remember the teachers you had in high school or Sunday School? Were not some of them dull and uninspiring? They could put you to sleep with no effort at all. In fact, to their credit, you learned absolutely nothing in their classes.

Well, here’s how you can follow in their footsteps. Next time you are asked to lead the Council Ring, or teach a Sunday School class, or speak at a campfire, try these teaching tips. They are guaranteed to bore the boys to death.


  1. Forget the boys’ names. Better yet, call them by the wrong name or just say, “Hey, you.” If you like, be formal and use their last names. “Mr. Johnson, stop talking and pay attention.”
  1. Don’t look the boys in the eyes. Keep your face buried in your Bible where it belongs. Only look up if you hear someone fooling around. Then glare.
  1. Refer constantly to your own exciting life. Start off by saying, “Boys, when I was your age . .. ”
  1. Ask questions that can be answered with Yes or No. For example: Was David afraid when he saw Goliath? Did he trust God? By asking questions which have easy, simple answers, you keep boys from thinking.
  1. If a boy gives you the wrong answer, pretend you didn’t hear it or scowl and say, “WRONG!” Keep asking until someone gives you the answer you want. Always remember you have all the right answers.
  1. If by chance someone asks you a question which you can’t answer (like, How could there be light on the first day of creation when God didn’t make the sun until the fourth day?), never admit you don’t know. Just tell the boy, “That’s the way it is. Your mind is just too small to understand.”
  1. Feel free to interrupt at any time. A student may be saying something interesting, but if you have a better idea, butt in and enlighten the whole group. That’s your prerogative as leader.
  1. Be sure to read the Bible passage yourself so there won’t be any mistakes. If you let the boys read aloud from their Bibles, everyone will be confused because of all the different translations. Besides, most boys spend too much time reading.
  1. Keep your enthusiasm under control. Avoid smiling, laughing, giggling and silly comments like, “This verse is really neat.” Bible study is serious business. Practice speaking in monotone . It’s a great way to hide your excitement.
  1. If the boys decide to whisper to each other instead of listening to you, get very offended and take it personally. Say something nasty to the boys. If it happens again, throw them out of the room. This will create the right kind of mood for the rest of the study .

ONE MORE THING. Please don ‘t take any of the above suggestions seriously. Too many other leaders already have.


 A helpful Definition

satire

ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
noun
The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vice

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